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latest by jen

If it was a place

If it was a place — cognitive dissonance, it would be here, Israel. Where in one swift shift I move from embarrassment (I forgot about swimming lessons) to fear of war. Shame I forgot about it; murder and them (those who can’t forget except in dreams which aren’t real) and yelled at my son for telling me he was bored on the second day after school ended. If it was a place — cognitive dissonance, it would be ...

How to be a happy fool

The Buddha never said this, but it’s the noise of parenthood that propels me to appreciate the quiet. This is probably the greatest lesson I’ve learned so far in the 11 and a half years I’ve been mothering.  This is also why I wouldn’t use time travel to go back and change being a parent because these little butterflies that look almost nothing like me have had an active and passive role in shaping me; ...

Totally awesome redefined

I’m a girl who grew up in the totally awesome eighties, so it’s taken time for me to integrate the word awesome into my system with an emphasis on awe. But as I am awakening more to the magic in my life and in the world around me, I’m finding it necessary to rethink, “awesome.” I processed this realization as I watched a trailer of an upcoming film in which astronauts describe what many of them say ...

A date with Haifa

Yesterday I took my husband to the ER for symptoms he has been suffering for over a week. Fortunately he was released at the end of a very long day and evening with a diagnosis of pneumonia. Serious, but not as serious as we thought, and treatable with antibiotics. And so … relief. We both hate the hospital. I suppose most people do. Worse than the fear of germs for me, though, is the overwhelm ...

The New 40

“40 is the new 30,” said a friend of mine the other day. That would totally and completely suck, I just realized. Yes, my hair was blonder. Yes, my breasts were firmer. Yes, I had ten years ahead of me still ‘ til 40. But … wow. 30. 2004. Mom of one very restless baby. Up to my eyeballs in change … not bad change but the kind that causes upheaval that equals frequent upset. ...

What I imagine when I imagine the end of the world

Short Fiction When I imagine the end of the world, I am alone at the edge of a cliff. It’s evening and God Only Knows by the Beach Boys is playing on a box radio I looted from my neighbor’s basement. If it were a movie, I’d be gazing out over the city lights of Los Angeles just as the electricity went out, as one by one the skyscrapers lost power, and the city fell dark. A ...

Let the summer of 40 begin

When I was a younger girl, I never imagined I’d marry a guy my own age. It’s not that I was into older guys. Mamash, LO, as we say in Hebrew. Definitely NOT. Older guys scared me. I typically dated guys who were maximum two years older.  This was my boyfriend demographic for many years. Guys my own age were my friends; little brothers. Guys older than me by more than two years also landed ...

The obligatory notice

Almost as often as I change the furniture around in my house, I like to play with the look and feel of the blog. Please note the new design only enough to be aware that it’s still me. Fine. I admit it. I was really looking for an excuse to post this not-half-bad picture of almost-40-year-old-me. The redesign is just a ruse. Not half bad, right? But DO note the new MENU in the sidebar of the ...

Take heed

What if the woman who’s leaving Bob Dylan in Boots of Spanish Leather returns one day? Maybe instead of boots she just brings her older, softer, leathery self to a cafe where it’s said Dylan sometimes drinks black coffee. I imagined that woman and with her in mind, played a little with blackout poetry. It’s the first time I almost like the result.  Take Heed I just thought you might want a long ol’ time alone. From the storm From the ...

Throw my suitcase out there, too

The best coworker I ever had was the one who every morning sat with me for a half hour while drinking our morning coffee and did dream analysis with me. She was good. So was I. Coffee + dream analysis = best way to start the morning. I’m pretty decent on my own, but it’s more fun to analyze your dreams with a friend. I also really enjoy showing people the obvious connections they are ...

Photographic memory

I love photography even though I’ve never been as good at the art as I might have liked; might have been. I’m grateful — seriously, grateful — to Instagram, for allowing me an outlet for the scenes I capture in my mind’s eye and feel compelled to share, but hardly ever render to my satisfaction on a traditional camera. I took photography as an elective in high school — learned how to develop my own film ...

Subway metaphor

It’s likely I will never understand the passage of time. By the time I understand I will have passed time. Quickly like the express train. People some I know become blurred colors along a tiled wall. Their names once tiled too in a mosaic of sorts crumble and all that is left is a private joke as private as can be because it’s with me now. I see myself at the turnstile at the 18th ...

My memory waited 14 years for this photo to catch up

“We took our coffee into the living room. He stood at the stereo and asked if I had any requests. ‘Something Blue-ish,’ I said. While he flipped through his records, he told me about the time he’d asked his daughter for requests; she was about three at the time and cranky after a nap, going down the stairs one at a time on her butt. He imitated her saying, ‘No music, Daddy.’ ‘I told her we had to listen to ...

The after-taste of a dream

My dreams are poems Righting themselves upside down in Not-for-long Ville.   Still fresh with relief when I wake I take a pen so I may keep them.   But the poems fade faster than the dream even when I whisper, “Don’t.”   What’s left then, but last night’s dream, which will never be anything more than      

From the eyes of Mrs. Murry

Meg’s mother picked up the pair of brown tortoise shell reading glasses from the top of the bedroom dresser. She gently put them on and leaned in to study her face in the reflection. Cocking her head to the right, she removed the pair, placed the chewed earpiece in her mouth, and sucked the grooves in between the teeth marks. Only then did she notice the smudge on the lens. Instinctively, she reached for a tissue ...

In this world, there is a fragile child

There is a cry lodged There at the farthest most upper reaches There at the roof of my mouth. There, its origin may be found in between There in between an exhale and an inhale There where an ujjiyai breath washes over it. There is not a wet cry There lies a very ancient dry cry There where it’s drier than a long suckled Japanese well. There is nothing to do There but notice how stuck ...

The wail

As the two-minute siren commemorating Yom HaZikaron (Israel’s Memorial Day for the fallen) began its descent, a poem began to rise. Please take a few minutes to travel over to the Times of Israel, where it’s posted.

Why yoga is the ultimate “ex”

I’m on again in my on again-off again relationship with yoga. This, perhaps, is why you might find more typos in this post than normal. My right shoulder is a little upset with me. It’s even trembling as I type. I’ve been practicing yoga — and practicing is truly the operative word here since I’ve never quite committed nor become expert — since 1997. It was through an employee-friendly work environment at Scholastic that I found ...
stress dreams
  • Dreams |

Recurring Dreams: Stress Dreams

This is the first post in a series on recurring dreams, dreams that repeat across the course of a person’s life, with either similar content or similar themes to previous dreams. I can remember recurring dreams as far back as early childhood. There are three dreams, in particular, I remember…
No dreams necessary
  • Dreams |

No Dreams Necessary

When you say you’re a dreamworker or a dreams researcher, as I do, you naturally attract questions from friends, family, or strangers about their dreams. Fortunately, I love hearing others’ dreams so it’s usually a win-win, if I have the time and energy in the moment to listen. I remember…
NDEs
  • Dreams |

NDEs, the Afterlife, the Paranormal, and Dreaming

Last week, while I was away in Tucson at the 39th Annual Conference of the International Association for the Study of Dreams (my first time at the conference!), one of my favorite semi-annual events took place in my hometown: the public library sale. I love attending this 4-day event, and…
why dreamwork
  • Dreams |

Why Dreamwork?

Recently, I wrote a brief personal essay in response to the question, “What is dreamwork?” In this post, I offer you why you might work your dreams and some benefits I’ve received as a result of dreamwork. (I envision this as a series, evolving as I evolve, as new benefits…
morning hours
  • Health |
  • Mindfulness |

The Best Way to Spend Your Morning Hours

What is the most healthful way to spend the hours just after waking in the morning following a good night sleep? Is it best to roll out of bed, on to a mat, and spend an hour in silent meditation? In prayer? Is it best to begin your day with…
talk to no one 2
  • Self Discovery |

Talking to No One

I am a talker, a writer, a person who externalizes that which is internal. Over the course of my life until now, this has sometimes looked like over-sharing with friends, or over-confessional blog posts, or over-explaining myself and my reasons for my actions. About 15 years ago, during a self-development…
what is dreamwork
  • Dreams |

What Is Dreamwork?

You picked up a business card with the word “dreamwork,” but you didn’t know what that meant, so you searched up the web site listed and found yourself here. Or… Someone you trust told you that there was a way to intentionally and purposefully work with your dreams for healing,…
dreams and time web site
  • Dreams |

Dreams and Time

Since I was a little girl, I have been as fascinated with the concept of time travel as I have with the nature of dreams. It wasn’t well into adulthood, however, that I started contemplating that one possibly related to the other. Influenced by science fiction tv shows and films…
dream catcher feature
  • Dreams |

Is Dreamwork Like Therapy?

This week, I attended an annual writer’s conference, but instead of my writer self, I could tell it was my inner dreamworker who wanted to show up there. In a way, the writer’s conference was my dreamworker debut, if that’s a thing.  A bit shyly, but not reluctantly, I added…
butterfly feature
  • Dreams |

Working with Dreams for Healing

In my recent “audio chat” on Patreon, I spoke a little about why I believe we are missing an opportunity for healing when we don’t pay attention to our dreams, when we don’t dive deeper into the dream experience, and when we don’t meaningfully engage with our children about their…

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